Up with the Christmas Decorations, Up with the Temperature

So.... Can it be that Thanksgiving is passed and Christmas is on its way? It must be the case as we lit the first Advent candle at mass on Sunday, but I think maybe it´s all one big trick, because the weather´s only getting hotter, and my little mind doesn´t understand. On Thursday I helped hang up Christmas decorations at the dispensario, which actually did increase my excitement for the coming of Christmas. Now we just need to have a snowflake making party at our house and start decorating our casa.

Now that we´re beginning to tackle our 5th month in Ecuador, I´ve got my routine and my work and my neighbors and my housemates and, well, life in Ecuador, and I´m living it. And now that we´re into it a bit, I´m accustomed to a lot of things that used to seem like such chores. I´m learning more Spanish, though there are still daily language frustrations. With an increase in understanding of Spanish comes a deeper understanding of who my neighbors are and how they live. Their situations are becoming a little more real to me, and I´m giving more and more of my heart to this place and these people. Our neighbor Wellington told the retreat group a few days ago that he loves everything about Ecuador. The only thing he doesn´t like is having to say goodbye to the volunteers every year. It´s tough knowing that as soon as we build these relationships we´ll be leaving, but there´s a reason for it.

Ok, so here it is, what I´m learning in Ecuador:
-how to fend for myself -how to think about how my decisions will affect others with every little choice I make -often failing to be selfless but still learning to remind myself to be -Spanish -some cooking skills -what it feels like to be winged by a live turkey on the bus -the joy of warm bread in the morning -to be thankful for a shower whether it´s long and hot or short and cold -that there´s no such thing as a quick run to the corner store -the quirks of my housemates -that "dame-ing la mano" (the sign of peace) at Comunidad de Base really makes me happy -the absurdity of life sometimes -patience (again and again and again) -how to push myself and give more than I thought I could -how to think of the other first even if, again, I often fail to do so -the joy of relationships and conversations -what´s really important and what´s not -that hearing little Rosita try to pronounce "Jennifer" brings me joy -How funny occassional hilarious miscommunications as we gringos try to communicate can be (I just want to order a pizza!) -that kids charging me with open arms and huge smiles ALWAYS makes me smile too, no matter how I was feeling before that moment -that I really like using the word chuzo -that my neighbor Walter knows some darn funny riddles -that I need to remind myself over and over that it´s all a journey, it´s all poco a poco.

There are many reasons to be joyful and thankful and many reasons to celebrate. There are also plenty of things to be sad about and angry about. But we´ve got one common hope, and there´s reason to continue. Siga no mas.
Jenny

For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF."Gal 5:13-14

Some photos of the volunteers!

Finally some pictures of these fabulous people....without further ado the Rostro de Cristo volunteer class of 2006-2007.

Sam, Dan and Kevin (aka the Jefe) at a rare, but delicious dinner out!

Mike, Alberto, and Ricardo trying to look tough and Kareliz making sure that they don't succeed.

The Arbolito volunteers (past and present) give Jorge Ricardo a lift for his birthday.

Sam, Dan, Mara and Mike checking out the view of Cuenca on our recent trip to the sierra.

Katie and Alison in the wee morning hours in Cuenca!

Don't worry many many more photos to come!

En el amor de Dios!

- Meredith

Reflection on Love and this week´s Gospel

My housemate Mara, in moments of stress, when anger or frustration could get the better of her, sings one word over and over to bring her back: "Love, love, love!" Be it the sweltering heat, parasites, relentless noise, frustrations with Spanish, or the inevitable difficulties that result when you put 11 very different people together in Duran, Ecuador for one year, her song reminds me of how I should be living, and the reason that I am here. It always seems a bit cliché and cheesy to say that love is the answer to all. As if we haven't heard before that love is the cure for the world's ills, is a release from our inherent selfishness, and is the key for living in true life-giving relationships. Since I was a tiny, pigtailed, overall wearing girl, the tall order of loving God with all my heart, soul, and mind fell on dull ears as I would think "yeah, yeah, yeah, I didn't punch my brother today, I loved… check!" But now more than ever, I'm seeing not only the simplicity of this message but also the immense, fully unattainable call we have as humans to heed the Gospel today- to love with all our heart, with all our soul, with all our mind, and with all our strength. As I begin my fourth month here in Duran, I am increasingly aware of the enormous difficulties and profound freedom that come with this call. It is at once my greatest source of life and my greatest frustration.

In Oscar Romero's The Violence of Love, this extreme challenge and call to love as our one responsibility on Earth is the thread that holds each of his words together. Indeed, the love Romero calls for is violent. It is one "which left Christ nailed to a cross, the violence that we must each do to ourselves to overcome our selfishness and such cruel inequalities among us. The violence we preach is the violence of love, of brotherhood, the violence that wills to beat weapons into sickles for work." Thus, loving with all of our being must involve a recognition that we willingly or unwillingly participate in the oppression and destruction that occurs all over the world and therefore calls for a conversion of each of our hearts. This conversion will then lead to engagement and action within the world against injustice. Romero stresses that we cannot separate this call to love, found in today's Scripture, from the historical reality that it is revealed in: war, abuse, hatred, corruption, and greed, all present a harsh environment from which we must love.

And I haven't figured out how to do that yet, how to fully engage in this liberation process; and I wonder if I ever will. So I start by looking for the little things; recognizing that God is the Love that we find and live every day, pure agape. Using the words "God" and "Love" interchangeably has provided a richer dimension to my faith, a much needed renewal of my personal prayer life, and a clearer way of seeing the Kingdom all around me. When I sit for an hour with Mercedes, a blind Hansen's Disease patient, and try to grasp onto any word she speaks so that I can understand and respond in broken Spanish, I get frustrated but find myself eventually just sitting in simple silence holding her hand and I feel love. I feel God. When I return from work and walk down the dirt road to my house and meet Freddy who runs outside to ask me how my day was because I looked tired when I went off that morning, I see it. When I pass by a father sitting outside of his cane home picking lice out of his daughter's hair, its clear. When I have a conversation on the bus with my friend Jefferson as we drive across the river, away from the shacks and plethora of dogs in Duran to the skyscrapers and McMansions of the Puntilla and parts of Guayaquil, I know that the presence is there. And when I'm with my 4 housemates, cleaning the floors of our forever dusty house, reminiscing about college, and laughing together, I see God in my midst. God/Love is in all conversation and community but it is only through a certain lens that we can see it. And though many times I am oblivious or closed off to the recognition of the hallowed ground which I walk on every day, those moments that rock me and prove to me the existence of Love are what drive me to continue to live with meaning.

There are no limits to God's love, so who are we to put limits on ours? At the end of this week's Gospel, an enthusiastic scribe expresses his agreement with Jesus that loving with all one's heart and loving one's neighbor as oneself is worth more than any ritual or burnt offering. Jesus responds, "You are not far from the kingdom of God." Indeed, the Kingdom of God is here on earth and when we break free from our egos, our judgments, and our personal attachments, it's as clear and tangible as the burning hot Ecuadorian sun. Our call this week certainly is a tough one; but it is the only one we have. As I continue searching and learning from the people of South America , I pray that I can better sharpen my lens of love so that all that is blurry with my limited view can be better magnified through God.

La Paz,
Alison

All Soul's Day

One of my communitymates from last year sent me the following piece to reflect on, an excerpt from Tuesdays with Morrie...

"I heard a nice little story the other day, " Morrie says. He closes his eyes for a moment and I wait.
"Okay. The story is about a little wave, bobbing along in the ocean, having a grand old time. He's enjoying the wind and the fresh air--until he notices the other waves in front of him, crashing against the shore.
"'My God, this is terrible," the wave says. 'Look what's going to happen to me!'
"Then along comes another wave. It sees the first wave, looking grim, and it says to him, 'Why do you look so sad?'
"The first waves says, 'You don't understand! We're all going to crash! All of us waves are going to be nothing! Isn't it terrible?'
"The second wave says, 'No, you don't understand. You're not a wave, you're part of the ocean.'"
I smile. Morrie closes his eyes again.
"Part of the ocean," he says, "part of the ocean." I watch him breathe, in and out, in and out.

I think this is appropriate, particularly coming up on All Souls Day, and considering the main reason I am writing this email to you all: to request your prayers, and ask that you all might spend just a few minutes remembering an unknown, forgotten man.
I received word on Saturday that Modesto Campoverde passed away. Modesto was a 60 year old man who lived alone in a very dangerous part of Duran, Ecuador. He had been on the streets since the age of nine, and an alcoholic since the age of eleven. He survived until recently only by the charity of others - eating lunch daily at the church soup kitchen, begging on the street for a few cents from passing strangers. He was lonely, sad, neglected, and forgotten by many, including his own children, who only appeared when they needed a place to stay, or a dollar or two they knew they could persuade out of him (the only money he had). His variety of worldly possessions included a cane\n house built on stilts, which he could barely leave or enter during rainy season due to the swamp that appeared under it; a wooden cross that he wore around his neck; a Bible; a few pictures to remind him of those who had abandoned him, "framed" by old cd cases; and a checkerboard that was given to him by my housemate Jeff. And some bottles. The only constant companionship he had was Christ, who was often drowned out by the crazy, screaming voices he would hear in his own head - the result of many years of alcohol abuse, solitary living situations, and paranoia.

I could tell you many, many stories of Modesto - the way children in the neighborhood watched out for him, the way Jenny would bring him soup each day, the youth group that asked him to take part in their Christmas show, which he never made it to due to being passed out in a drunken stupor. I could tell you about the time my first year in late spring, as we here would know it, when Jeff and I took him to the hospital after he ingested rat poison in a suicidal attempt, and how he came close to dying in my arms in the back of the ambulance. I could also tell you about the five months during which he remained sober - how he fixed up his house and even had a papaya tree. About when Jeff and I walked into the hospital and he greeted us by speaking in English, or about the countless card and checkers games we played. Stories would include his dedication to Mass, and how he went every Sunday - they would include the incredible, unimaginable faith of a man who really had no good reason to believe. I would include how he passed along wisdom to the youth - warning the guys on the corner to change their ways before they ended up how he did. I would recount for you the way Conor, Jason and I would take turns staying up with him to make sure he didn't die as he convulsed, sometimes due to withdrawal, sometimes due to overdose. I could tell you about when Conor pulled the IV out of Modesto's arm, or when he literally had to clean his feces after aiding him to excrete.

Modesto's stories range from the beautiful and hopeful, to the most despairing, empty moments. Some of my most poignant memories are sitting in the one chair he had in his house as he laid in his bed with IVs in his arm, trying to fight dehydration after being treated time and time again for alcohol abuse. He would muster up the strength to talk to me about his life, his lost family, his brother who had made it as a big time bank manager in the States, the mental institutions he had lived in at different points, the voices he heard and the impossibility of silencing them. He would tell me that He was sure God was blessing him, because He had sent Modesto the friendship of the volunteers, the kindness of strangers (especially social workers in the hospital), about Fanny who always gave him a little extra at the soup kitchen... Modesto's stories go on and on, again some heartwarming and speaking the beauty of faith, of God's presence, of one human being touching the life of another; others have at times brought me into a deep depression, have made me question the world and God more than I ever thought were possible, have made me more angry and sad than I thought a human being could be capable of. Modesto has depicted the variety of the faces of Christ in more forms than, I think, the most astute theologians have dared let themselves imagine... from the beaten and bloody, to the risen and glorified.

Why am I telling you all this? I am quite aware that there is nothing that can be done now - I am told he died alone, having taken his own life. He feared too greatly the crash that would be awaiting him at a later time. I know that nothing can change that, that especially from here there is little we can do to make any difference - I know, and as Modesto has taught me, have faith that he is in a better place. He is part of the ocean - part of the great, raw humanity that teaches us to love, challenges us to question, and moves us to believe in Grace. My life has been blessed, and forever impacted, by his presence - his fragility, his weakness, his hardship, but above all, his faith. So I only ask now, in this time of distant mourning, for a man that literally has no one in the world to remember him, that you call to mind, and say a prayer for the soul of my friend, Modesto Campoverde. Que se duerma en paz.

May God bless and keep each and every one of you, Clare

¡Gracias a Dios Esta Viernes!

So it's been a long, long week here in Ecuador. At least for me anyway. I got in a long and confusing situation with my 6th grade class (which is my pride and joy) and chances are good that they will hate me for much of the semester. But like Mike says, it's not my job to be their friend. It's my job to be their English teacher. It's not my job to make them like me. It's my job for them to speak and comprehend the English language.

Sometimes, though, particularly after a rousing speech by the primary school disciplinarian, amusingly named Victor Hugo), I feel that teaching English is this terribly colonial thing to do. Like the future success of my students hinges on their ability to speak and write in English when the success of a native English speaker is not equally contingent on his or her knowledge of other tongues. This is part of the solidarity argument. Adam once described solidarity as those of us blessed with opportunity getting down on our stomachs and pulling with all of our collective might to bring up those without opportunity. Our egalitarian goals should include a lot of work for the priviledged too. It's not enough that I should teach Enlgish. I should have to study Spanish with equal effort. The combined work toward the understanding of the language of the Other is what puts us on the road to solidarity. And we're learning more everyday that solidarity with the poor is not a place that we can arrive at. It is just a place we've heard of and we're trying more and more to head in that direction.

That's the view from Arbolito...
- Meredith

The view from Arbolito

Buenas Tardes!

I am finally getting to the blog and my apologies for not writing sooner. I have been very caught up in my own reflections which usually get funneled to my personal blog. But as I tell my Nuevo Mundo students "No quiero excusas!" (I don't want excuses) so here I go.

I am living in Arbolito with 5 other fabulous volunteers and their dedication to this life teaches me daily. If there is one thing I could say about Johanna, Katie, Sam, Adam and Mike it is that they all work very hard. I admire Katie's hard work a lot because both of her job placements as well as her heart are in Arbolito. She knows more than all of us combined (though Johanna is a close second!) She is leading the charge to meeting the neighbors, something that has been a bit more challenging than past years, but certainly as important.

I got to sit and talk with the mom of one of my most rambunctious students last night and it was definitely a great idea. I could see that she had a lot on her plate as the mother of three boys and this peek into his life will help me be a bit more understanding the next time he pops out of his seat without permission. This is a blessing I am not sure I would receive in another job in another place. Would I be able to sit in my student's house and chat with their parents in the U.S.? Would I be invited? Or scolded if I didn't come soon enough? The welcome of the Arbolito neighbors is very warm...in fact as we strive to meet new faces in town the welcome is downright hot!

The best part of living in Arbolito, for me, is my community in the house. We were at a wedding this past weekend and it struck us how much like a family we are. We decided that is because we don't always agree. But it seems that after every fight there is more capacity to love each other than before. Funny how that works. We've been here two months and I am already confusing people by referring to Katie as my hermana and Mike as my ñaño. We struggle, we have different opinions and desires and ways of thinking and being, yet we come together to pray, to eat, and to serve. There is only one person we can credit this to and that is Christ.

I think that we have been doing a fabulous job of keeping Jesus as the center. We are a house of people who think that Jesus was onto something. Someone who put the poor first and lived simply with his friends might have an idea of how to love people as we want to learn how to love. We are figuring out that God is not so much a noun as he is a verb of how to be in relationship and we strive to "God" each other and people around us every day. We are learning that He is in control and that sometimes the only thing and the best thing we can do is look to Him. We're not sure if solidarity is attainable, but we know which direction to go to grow closer to it. Hopefully whether we're walking in Arbolito, crossing the street in Guayaquil or riding the bus over the bridge we are going in the direciton of love.

And that's the view from Arbolito. More to come soon!
Besos-
Meredith

Two and a Half Months In

Hello all! Being a part of this program is a HUGE blessing and I am so thankful to be in Ecuador.

To preface...I feel very unqualified to write about my experience or about Ecuador. Like a mouse in the middle of a maze, I can´t see the big picture right now, and things are always clearer in retrospect. So por favor take everything I say with a grain of salt - my thoughts today might contradict my thoughts tomorrow.

So, from day one in Ecuador everyone has said "poco a poco," and it´s really the case. Little by little I´m getting accustomed to life here and learning things. And, like Dean Brackley says in his book The Call to Discernment in Troubled Times, "We need different types of nourishment at different points of our journey." As much as I want to know and understand everything right now, it would be paralyzing and I wouldnt know what to do with it all. There have been plenty of challenges during these first 2 1/2 months, but in the midst of these have been countless blessings. We really feel the love coming in from family and friends and people who care about the program, so thank you.

So, some blessings... Yesterday I got to watch our neighbor Freddy play checkers with one of the college visitors. He won 4 games in a row, but i helps that he´s the ony one that knows the Ecuadorian variation on rules. Another blessing is praying with my housemates every morning and night in our "upper room," as Alison called it. I love attending the base Christian community meetings, and I want to share them with you (at the risk of glamorizing poverty, which I certainly don´t want to do). The first time I went to a meeting, we sat outside the woman´s house who was hosting it because her house was too small to have the meeting inside. We were told that the woman has a small home but a huge heart, and I am sure it´s true. But it was pretty amazing and surreal to be sitting in a chair on a dirt road in Duran, Ecuador underneath the moonlight, coming before God together in such a basic way, singing and praying to the God of us all. I can´t begin to fully understand poverty or the Ecuadorian political or economic system or what life is truly like for the people we gather with every Friday night, but I know I´m thankful they are willing to share it with me. I´m learning about selflessness and generosity, humility and pride, suffering and joy, and bearing one another´s burdens.

As the time ticks on, I am trying to understand the very central significance of love and to understand how to love more fully. Brackley also writes in his book, "Dorothy Day used to quote Dotoyevsky, saying, ´Love in practice is a harsh and dreadful thing compared to love in dreams.´ Above all, love demands sacrifice, and we are slow to sign up for that."

Sacrifice requires leaps - we gotta jump in or otherwise we´ll never get around to it. I still remember when I visited Ecuador last year and Pat told us to live radically, don´t just live any old life. People will not be fed and have their basic needs met if we all live any old life. So now what? We keep searching and putting our experiences into perspective and determining what these experiences mean for us, each of us, regardless of where we are in the world.

Love to all,
Jenny

Hey everybody!
So this is my first post, and I promise there will be much more to come; but not until I get this cast/splint off so that I can type with two hands. Basically, I just wanted to let you all know how extremely grateful we are for all your interest, support, prayers, and love! We really can`t say it enough! If it wasn`t for that, a lot, if not all of us, would not be here! You, too, are ever-present in our thoughts and prayers, and thus, are with us everywhere we go! Thanks again! For even though it`s only been two months, we have already been able to catch glimpses of the amazing beauty that life holds, especially for us, during this time in Ecuador! God Bless!
Un abrazo muy fuerte,
Mara :)

um, sorry for not posting sooner?

Buenas a todo from the new group of volunteers. Yes, we have in fact been here for almost two months now. What slackers we all are for not having blogged sooner (sorry Jackie)! I don´t really know what to write here, as others, Meredith and Jenny mostly, are probably a lot better at blogging than I. At any rate, I think we are doing well here, "well" being a relative term for trying to take in the crazyness and chaos of confusing Duran.
I am reticent to speak for the whole group here, but to me, it has become obvious that I have little clue what I am doing. My spanish has not yet reached the point of complete sentences with correct verb tenses, although sometimes I begin to feel I am getting my point across and, more importantly, able to listen. The only thing that is clear to me is that we need a lot of help, which the neighbors have abundantly offered to provide. Katie and I were sitting at Pastora´s house the other day, and she was feeding us, like always, and when we tried to say thanks in our shoddy Spanish her husband waves away our remarks, saying something like "its our duty to feed the hungry and invite in strangers". Clearly, he meant us. We are current objects of charity here and not the other way around, having problems with simple things like feeding ourselves. We have a lot to learn, even if just by way of trying to recriprocate the hospitality we have so far recieved.
Some news from Arbolito: apparently the mayor Marianita is paving the main streets in Arbolito, which, Pat tells me, is soooo good. Drain pipes and everything. The boys, Mike and Adam, are putting in long hours on a project of Padre Damien, assisting a group of doctors on bone surgery for kids. Adam has found his natural habitat and is excited that he gets to scrub in sometimes in the surgeries. I think he likes it when people mistakenly call him doctor. Katie and I are trying to go to this Reggaeton dance class in Duran centro on Saturdays with Juanita, a friend from the Guaderia. Before I came here, I thought I was a graceful dancer, but then I found out how far some people can actually extend their hips. Merdedith is like a rolling fire of energy all day long, and I give her credit for trying to reinvigorate the lectura program in the mornings. Sam, I think, is grooving at Santiago- he is the best of all of us at focusing on Spanish.
So I think we are all adjusting, but I don't want to give the impression that it isn´t incredibly hard in a way that I´ve never felt before. And I have to say, we are definently struggling, each in our own way. I hope that this year we will learn how to struggle with the people here, together and not alone. Thanks for all the prayers and support from everyone, and hopefully postings will be a more frequent event in the future. -Johanna

So here it is, my last blog...I guess this is the beginning of many lasts as I had my last spirit night this week too...it seems to early for "lasts" but as time picks up faster and faster each day I suppose it is time to come to grips, I also suppose the only certain thing we knew when we came here was that we would one day leave...I just never knew how hard that would be...

It will be hard to say goodbye to all, but what will be harder is the responsibility each of us now holds in our hearts...The famous Pat line is that we now can´t say we didn´t know what poverty was like, now that we´ve held it in our hands, kissed it, watched it cry, now we must carry that burden of information. Some say ignorance is bliss, and there are days that I come close to believing that, how much easier would our lives appear to be if we had never come here? But, I believe, we were all called here to bear witness to the world around us and to never stop speaking about the things we have seen. We now hold this place and these people in our hearts, and it is us up to us to testify to that.

Lately I have been struggling with how we do that. What are our gifts and how do we best use them to serve? Erin gives me grief because I think we should all go for the senate :) , but the reality is, as she reminded me just yesterday, and poco a poco is life. I still want change now...and I recognize that maybe that is because I am young enough to be idealistic...but I dream about change over night where people no longer stand on the street and scream for the water truck...

I guess I´m not aiming for the senate, but I am struggling about how I will chose to live my life to serve the worlds poor. Education? Ministry? Politics? Who knows...solo Dios...

So signing off from Duran, I hope these words find you all hopeful and well.

Peace.
Emily
(don´t foget to see what you can do for Ecuador)

The downhill

i'm still smiling from reading what jackie and emily wrote. i couldn't say it better myself. through all the fun and laughs, through all the challenges and awkward moments, and through all the times I counted how many more days I had until I could go home (only once or twice :)) , we have become more than friends. we have become family. what an amazing experience. life is better with more ñaños.

i can also echo the sentiment that our time here is coming to an end. in mid-may it really set in. now we are full swing again with our retreat groups and will be that way until the end. i am beginning to realize what all the hype is about two year volunteer programs. it would be amazing to be able to spend another year here now that everything is clicking. así es la vida.

all is good here. valdivia is back in full swing as the kids have returned to school. I've fully realized why emily never stops talking about the kids. they energy and love is contagious. it's hard to imagine having to leave them, although i know they will be in good hands. yesterday we had a game day with the retreat group john carroll university and we had over 60 kids show up. they loved playing with the water balloons and getting piggy back rides from all the willing retreatants.

as the end is quickly appraoaching, i try to live even more in each moment, to relish the good people and amazing experiences i have already and continue to encounter. i ask that you all keep the people of durán and the whole rostro de cristo community in your prayers.

peace,
erin

home sweet home

I must apologize for neglecting to blog, but thanks to a Erin, Em and Kerry, there are still updates! So as much as I try to stop talking about how little time we have left, and my house gives me a lotta crap about that (sorry Em!), I am reminded by many a neighbor or coworker that August is slowly approaching. And this really scares me, for many reasons. Like Emily was saying, this community does feel like home, AJS feels like home, Duran feels like home. Coming back from my brother's wedding, it was hard to leave my home in the United States, but not that difficult because it felt like I was coming back to another home, a community that welcomed me back with open arms.
But I am also scared because I feel like we are not done yet, that there is still so much to do, so much more to develop. At the risk of sounding corny, I really do love and care very deeply for our Duran friends, and especially our housemates. We struggle in trying to etch out what exactly an intentional Christian community is, and I think that is a good and neccessary thing. But the tension can get rather high and I pray that the inevitable difficulties in community can only make us stronger and that we can learn to understand each other better.
I am scared because it sometimes feels like I have been here for 10 months and really haven't done a significant thing, that I have taken more personally from my worksites and relationships here than I could ever possibly give. For instance, getting the opportunity to drive Shalom around Duran all Saturday night until 8 AM on Sunday and hear them serenade mothers for el Dia de la Madre. All I did was drive around and chat with Clarita and the guys while they sang their hearts out and brought tears to these mothers' eyes.
It scares me that on some days it seems like all I do is fail, that our presence here does more harm than good. And then there are days like today when I went to the soup kitchen at AJS, and was humbled that Fannie and the women dedicated a mystery of the rosary to the RdC volunteers, both past and present. That they were actually praying for us blew me away and made me think that maybe all of our efforts are not in vain. Godbless those women and their generosity.
So today I pray for unity in the RdC community, for understanding and mostly in thanksgiving for the incredible time that I have had here and the times to come. Godbless.

Jack Attack

Welcome Home, Ñaña.

It all started as one of Juanito´s funny asides, "Hey guys, Javier from downstairs called me ñaño (brother) and I thought it would be nice if we called each other that..."

A few months later, the ñaño phenomenon has really caught on, we all find ourselves reffering to each other as such. I never really thought about it, what it actually meant to call each other brother and sister, until a member of our family went home...or back to the US rather.

When Jackie left for her brother´s wedding last week, we missed her. Not an hour went by without someone asking "what do you think Jackie´s doing right now?" Ok Ok, usually the answer was jogging, but in all seriousness, there was a noticeable void in our community. We were all anxiously awaiting her return last Monday. We wanted to hear all about what it was like to go back, and we wanted to get our hands on the goodies we knew she´d bring home for us :)

I sat down to make her a sign to welcome her back and as I wrote the words I found myself struggling over whether to write "welcome back" or "welcome home." I went with "home" because that´s what it´s starting to feel like. After nine months, it´s finally starting to feel like home. I never imagined it would take that long, and to be honest, after a while I let go of the notion that it was ever going to feel like home, and then, lo and behold, all it took was a wedding in Kansas City and a funny suggestion from Juanito to make me realize just how much like home this really is, and just how many more ñaños I now have.

April

Hard to believe it is the middle of April. Semana Santa is in full swing. Life is good.

I had a great weekend with some of our neighbors, Patricia and Jefferson (the gardener at Mundo). Emily and I went with Patricia and the three boys, Jefferson, Joel and Abrahm, to a town about an hour north of here, called Nobol. This town is the birthplace of Saint Narcisa de Jesus. Although she lived in the 1800's, her body is still there. As you can imagine, the entire town was packed for Palm Sunday. People were everywhere, selling candles, rosaries, and many odd religious things that Ecuadorians love. We went to mass and could barely see or hear anything amongst the hundreds trying to view the body and get their palms and jugs of water blessed.

We had a great time with the family, though. We took a canoe ride in a canoe that was overloaded with people and at times irregually lopsided. The boys (okay, myself included) were scared to make the return trip on the canoe so the six of us piled into a motorized tricycle for the return. We all had some good laughs. On the way home we stopped at the suegra's house (Jefferson's mom's house). There we enjoyed the best seco de pollo we've had in 8 months and an interesting conversation about religion as his mom is a recent convert to Jehovah's Witness.

I really value the opportunities that we have to spend with the families and experience Ecuador all at the same time. It is amazing to have friendships that completely transcend all barriers. Experiences like I had this weekend are a reminder to me that we are all connected and that we are all one family.

I'm looking forward to more experiences like this one.

Happy Easter,
Erin

Some thoughts from February

Winter in Arbolito is hard. I dont think I quite realized how bad some parts of Arbolito are until the rains came. Some parts of my neighborhood are literally a swamp (all of Duran was in fact a swamp before people started to fill in land and settle here, so some areas apparently aren´t as far along as others!). After a night of heavy rain, the calle principal (main street) is literally a small river, with little tidal waves as brave cars or the bus try to make their way through. the other day, the old man i´ve written about, modesto, was trying to cross the street and fell in a hole, his head slipping under, and as i tried to pick him up, did my best to avoid the electric wire hanging down loose right above him. luckily, we were all able to laugh about it. it was a pretty hysterical sight, but i think demonstrates well the difficulty of the rainy season! it wouldn´t be too much of an exaggeration to say that the water that we walk through is, quite literally, shit - a mix of rainwater, garbage, waste from people´s bathrooms, and sometimes little fish. the other day, passing by the large puddle between our house and the tech school, i looked over to find a bloated dead dog floating. i can´t imagine this is good for anyone´s health . . .

The saddest part, however, is seeing the water in people´s yards or even in their houses. One woman told me that water had entered her house up to her waist! What is hard is that one person´s blessing can become another´s curse. When they can, people buy relleno, a kind of land, to fill in around their houses so they won´t flood. Seems like a good thing. But Rocio (women´s group president) was telling me that her friend got yelled at for being a bad neighbor, beause as she protected her house and raised her land, the rainwater inevitably flowed even more into her neighbor´s land. But what else could she do? At the same time, though, it´s amazing to see people helping each other, digging gutters outside other people´s houses to help them drain the water. People do seem to come together here in their hardship.

***

Current manifestations of ¨the reindeer effect¨(what my roommates and I have dubbed the series of difficulties and hilarities happening since Christmas)
1. I have lice. So do half of the volunteers. I´m surprised, honestly, that it took this long. The upside - Someone combs your hair for an hour! the downside - you have to do it for someone else. Conor has shaved his beard.
2. I had (and probably once again have) parasites.
3. Flying crickets, called grillos, have officially taken over their house. They told us the plague would last 2 days. After 2 months, I no longer believe them. The sight of their babies in my room confirms this suspicion.
4. The internet hasn´t worked in Arbolito for 2 months. For 2 weeks, they told us it would be fixed ¨tomorrow¨. Eventually, we stopped believing them.
5. Our new youse floods because the roof sucks. We were informed (too late) that you should never pay an architect until after the rainy season starts
6. I was briefly electrocuted at Mabel´s house
7. I am covered in mosquito bites. The largest cause is that our truck got stuck in the mud at 10 pm in the pouring rain by the river. When we got out to push, my flip flop broke. I then had to traipse in bare feet through the gunk to find help, and was consequently covered in bites. Walking home in my wet church clothes being carried on Conor´s back was certainly quite a sight. Flip flops always seem to break at the most inopportune moments. Recently, we´ve been joking around, ¨we CHOSE to live here???¨At least it makes for good stories.

But in all truth, it´s a blessing to be here. I´m happier than I´ve been in a while. Some recent impressionable moments -
-I came over to Mabel´s house to drop off a letter from a former volunteer. The day before had been her bday, and she began to cry, with a mix of deep joy and sadness. She was amazed that someone from so far, who in her words she should mean nothing to, had remembered her. But sadly, that was contrasted with her own spouse - who she sad didn´t want to give her anything and who wouldn´t let her girls give her anything - and her sisters, who didn´t remember. It helped me realize how forceful our presence can be here, and how simple acts like sending bday cards can be so impactful. Yet at the same time, it makes me think . . . what does it mean that we just enter into people´s lives for a year and leave, just a small blip of kindness? Once again, it reminds me of the freedom and choice that comes with privilege, and the imprisonment that poverty so often imposes. That our being here is a choice, and not just a fact of our lives, and that we can - and will - leave. I don´t know what I´ll do with my life (I´m actually on the job hunt right now. Please let me know if you´d like to hire me, or know anyone else who would) but I know that even though I will leave, I dont want to forget that my privilege is not something I deserve more than Mabel or anyone else.
****I never expected some of my happiest moments in Ecuador to be sitting and speaking English with a 28 year old New Yorker who decided to carry drugs in her stomach for a little extra cash, got sick and almost died, and is now stuck in an Ecuadorian jail. She is an amazing woman, and a constant reminder of the importance of not judging others, because this drug trafficking criminal has taught me how to be patient, self reflective, grateful and to rely on inner strength and God. Recently, she decided to move from her 2 person room to a 13 person room where she shares a bed with another great woman from\n\n Holland whose name is Charlotte but likes to be called Psycho (no idea why - she´s actually quite normal). They have decided to start working in the kitchen so as to keep themselves busy and out of the way of the stupid gosspi and fighting that permeates the culture of the jail. Visiting last week, 2 women began to fight and everyone else crowded around to watch. Fatimah instead walked into the church and right up to the altar (none of this sitting on the bench stuff in the back, she emphasized) and just gave all this stupid crap up to God, who she says is the only one she can really rely on here. I was amazed at our conversation the other day - she told us that she thinks God brought her here to realize how she had been a selfish brat back home, how she wanted to do this drug trip to get more cash, and how everyone is surprised because she was the good girl - actually graduated from high school, went to a beauty school, didnt get pregnant and was a manager at blockbuster. She thinks God brought her here to show herself her privilege, and she cares so much about working hard and helping others - and we would probably see her as another poor, lazy, black woman in NYC. Certainly not a spoiled brat. And now she´s stuck here in jail, and I´ve met her and love her. It´s a pretty beautiful, crazy thing.
***A happy baby story for once. ONe of my closest friends here, Jenny, just gave birth to a beautiful boy. <***One of the latest Arbolito trends is that former gang members are turning into helpers at Semillas, our after school program, which makes me pretty happy. I was talking to Jefferson the other day because I wanted to talk to him about gangs, find out more about them here and how they function. Its hard to believe he´s only 17, already into and out of a ¨pandilla¨. He was excited to talk to me, and I was amazed at the honesty he shared with me, though he was kind of shy, not really looking me in the eye. What hit me hardest though, was what he said to me at the end of our talk. He told me that before I expressed interest in talking to him, when he first started at Semillas, he thought I didn´t like him - that I was angry with him and that he was intimidated by me. It made me really sad to hear, that I would give anyone that impression, let alone someone who clearly needed to feel love and acceptance. I guess I can see how it happened, with me often playing the role of disciplinarian. While I am so glad to know Jefferson now knows that I like him, his comment really convicted me to reach out more to those who seem more ¨bad¨ than good, to let them know that I believe in them instead of giving them the impression that I´m above them. If I say I believe in the dignity of every person, I better show it.

***¨We also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance, and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been gibbevn to us.¨ Romans 5:3-6\nThis passage has been haunting me since I arrived here, and I think there´s a reason. This year has certainly been one of tribulation, which initally drove me crazy. But eventually I realized I came here because I wanted a challenge, and here it was staring me in the face. So much of this year has been an exercise in disappointment - in myself, in others - but I think I am realizing that tribulations can in fact be transformative, and somehow arrive at hope. I think I´m somewhere in the middle of this passage, certainly at perseverance. While I have been broken, realizing that I am not perfect, that I´m not in control of so much of my life, that a group of obnoxious 5th graders can exercise more power over me than I them, I am hoping in part that it´s my pride that´s been broken, to be replaced by humility and patience. It´s so hard to feel like a failure, but maybe the lesson to learn is that I won´t always be successful and that others can give to me and teach me. Maybe that´s where the hope comes in . . . through failure and frustrated efforts, being forced to just ¨be¨ with people instead of changing them, to experience living in this culture of poverty and appreciating it instead of fixing it, I can still try to give love and receive it. Certainly I fail at that every day too. But hopefully all these tribulations will help me to build this proven character and to love better, and that is something that I can exult in in the end.\n",1]

God bless you all!
Kerry

Happy Lent from Duran!

Things here have been a little rocky over the past month or so with dengue, broken bones and strange stomach issues...but we´re still luchando-ing, so that´s good. I think we´ll all be happy to kiss the month of March goodbye as it seems to be a bit cursed! Oh well!

Valdivia summer project is finishing up this week with a week of fun. We´re going to include our geography lessons by playing a game from a different country each day! We´re also doing some art and music. Elvis has really gotten into helping out and he´s running an entire day of comedy for the kids, our Ecua helpers have really been involved latetly which I think we´re all pretty psyched about. Genesis especially has been a huge help running math games every Tuesday and Thursday, it´s really incredible to watch her progress from student to volunteer right before our very eyes. The kids are doing great. We´re having a little drop in numbers so we´re going to have to do some recruiting at the local schools once they start up again. As fun as summer has been, I am looking foward to getting back into the Valdivia swing of things!

Chicas adloscentes are also still luchando for the future of the community. This week concludes our mini summer project and we´re going out with a bang, or a paseo to an unknown destination.

Time is flying and not a day goes by that Jackie doesn´t remind us of that :) !

I hope these words find everyone well.

Peace and Prayers,
Emily

LIFE

Hello to all our devoted blog readers...

All is good here in Durán; summer is in full swing and everyone is now accustomed to new schedules with a renewed energy and high spirits, much of which I think can be attributed to our awesome retreat two weeks ago. Thanks to Kevin, Chelsea and Marissa for planning that. Time is flying, just as everyone warned us, but everyday here is amazing and fun (well, almost everyday :)) . Valdivia is sweet; we've really had a 'coming together' and all the volunteers, Ecua and RdC alike, have joined forces to make the programs fun and interesting. We are teaching art, music, English, geography, history, and science. The kids are enjoying all the activities and we continue to get new kids almost everyday. All the niños (well, I might add again, most) are so precious. I feel so fortunate to get to know them and be a part of their learning and playing.

The group of girls that Emily and I are working with have officially chosen a name... Chicas adolescentes luchando para el futuro de la comunidad. There are 6 girls who come twice a week to talk about life issues and do service for the community. Last Thursday we made Vday cards for the patients at Annie's (fundación Padre Damien) and yesterday we took them there to hand them out and chat. We played dominoes with Victor and two of the older girls actually went around and talked to the men. It was so neat to see them interacting and the girls were super excited. They wanted to talk about their experience at Valdivia (which we will let them in the near future) and they asked when they could go back and also brainstormed ideas for other places they could go, like a children's hospital or orphanage. They are also thinking of ideas for service they can do in their own neighborhood, too. It really is amazing...

Everything else is pasando like normal. Lots of rain, lots of bugs, and lots of mice (or maybe just one really active one) ... There is never a day here without a good story, a good laugh, a good question, and/or a good moment of refelction. I hope to continue this year by truly living in each moment, and I wish the same for each of you.

Best of luck to all those looking for volunteer programs for next year. I say ditto to Emily's advice.

Peace,
erin

Decision Time?

Dear Friends,

This time last year I was discerning about coming down here, my how time flies and how things can change in a year. I have received quite a few emails from future RDCers and I know how hard the decision is. In true ignation fashion, the best advice I can offer is to imagine yourself here, pray on that, go through a whole day here, what do you see? what do you do? HOW DO YOU FEEL? Peace? Anxiety? Pain? Misery? Happiness? Joy? All of the above?

Having trouble imagining a place you´ve never been? Let me see if I can help...

Picture youself here among the people, the mud, the unpaved road, the malnourished, dirty, abused children...see yourself living in community, working out problems, laughing harder than you´ve ever laughed, crying together, giving up your independance...loving it, hating it...never wanting to go home, being homesick....reflecting on the face of Christ in yourself and others...being moved at mass, leading a retreat group, dealing with misunderstanding from home, being sicker than you´ve ever been, being joyful....think about everything, picture youself here, really do it, and then tell yourself how you feel...Pretend you´ve said yes, go through the hole day as if you´ve accepted, how do you feel? Pretend you´ve said no, go through the next day like you´re not coming down here, how do you feel?? Listen to your heart, that´s all we can do.

Life is precious, and life is short. Make decisions, stick with them, and no matter what, never give up the good fight. Whether you are applying to RDC or graduate school or the working world, we´re all fighting for the same thing: survival, whether it be our own or someone elses, this is the good fight. It´s an uphill battle some days, but it´s worth sticking with, if we don´t, then what the heck are we doing here and why?

Good luck,
Peace.

Emily

Buenas!

Hope everyone who is reading this finds themselves doing well and keeping warm in the cold January weather. We have no trouble doing that here in the scorching heat that January has brought Ecuador, so no need to worry about us! Despite the sun and the invasion of the grillos, everything is rolling along just fine here in Duran. Yesterday I finished my Mundo class and was sad to say good-bye to my students, especially since some of them will not be returning to Nuevo Mundo next year. But the summer vacation will be a nice time to work on new projects and have a little bit of a change of pace. I will be going out every day to Manos Abiertas, our afterschool program in 28 de agosto, with Juanito, Bridget, and Marissa, and I am really excited to be able to be there with the kids every day. Since the kids are out of school, that means no homework, so we decided to change the format of the program for the summer. In place of the hour of homework time that we originally had, we have planned several subjects that we will be teaching the kids....geography, Spanish grammar, and English. Although we have only had three days of the ´new manos´ the kids seem really excited and are definitely into the new projects. I am excited to see their progress, especially in geography, and eager to see them learning that the world is a huge place with lots of different cultures, people, and opportunities. Because most of them do not have the resources to travel, it is easy for them to lose sight of the fact that the world is so huge. But hopefully, with Bridget´s hard work on the geography lessons, their eyes will be opened to new places and new possibilities.

During the summer, I will also be spending time at the Hansen´s hospital in the afternoons. Last weekend, a friend of Sr. Annie´s sponsored a huge party for the patients....complete with a huge lunch, drinks, ice cream, soccer and volleyball games, and of course, dancing! It was an awesome party and a great oppotunity for the patients to have fun outside of the hospital. They are still talking about how much fun they had, so I think it was a huge success.

Take care everyone. You, as always, will be in our prayers.

Chelsea

arbolito...alive and kicking

Well hello and welcome back to the blog. Things on the island (aka arbolito) have been going pretty well lately and a lot has happened since our last blog. I'll try to hit the high points for you.

In Semillas news, the kids have finished their school year and are now all coming to Semillas without homework. So now we are able to prepare our own lessons and teach the kids lots of fun things. However exciting that might sound, keep in mind that this is around 100 kids daily who just got off school for summer break. And if you can remember back to when you were little, learning the geography of Ecuador probably wasn't on your list of things to do once school was out. It's going pretty well so far though, and we and the Ecuadorian helpers have been working together to come up with more ideas on how and what to teach the kids.

Classes at Mundo have officially ended and we are now in the midst of juntas (meetings) and turning in grades and materials. It'll be nice to have a change of pace from Mundo, but I'll miss my English class too.

Back in Arbolito, plans are in the works to teach literacy classes to neighborhood kids that have trouble reading. Three of us will be doing so in the Semillas room in the morning with kids from Victor Murillo and Angel Padilla. Another three will be doing a similar activity in 'sector cuatro', an area of Arbolito that is even less developed than where our house and the tech school are. It will be a new adventure for us and we're very excited to see where it will go.

And lastly, Arbolito successfully hosted its first ever retreat group! Yours truly was the group leader and the group came to us from St. Bonaventure in New York. Eight bright eyed youngsters and two adult leaders spent nine days learning and experiencing what it is like to live in Durán. The experience was a complete success and the community here is waiting with anticipation the arrival of the next group in February.

So now you know. And remember kids, knowing is half the battle. Jasón out.

A Mid January Hello

I'm with everyone else. It is HARD to believe it is already January. Christmas feels like years ago, but what a good time it was. January, for me, feels like a transition period. Classes are wrapping up at Mundo...well, that is the rumor. Anyone who has been here before knows that we don't find out anything for sure until the week of. But I am sad my class will be ending; I enjoyed it immensely, especially when i finally got the hang of it. :) I am also looking forward to helping out with Valdivia. Emily has done a SUPERB job with it so far, but we are hoping for even more with more energy and hands.

I am trying to think of what I would like to do during vacation. Several of us have been talking about some kind of exercise or dance program at the foundation padre damien. I would also like to think of more activities or programs in the AJS neighborhood. It is amazing all the things that we could do...but I want to do something that will enhance a program we already have.

So we are midway through our first time of two simultaneous retreat groups. It seems to be going really well. I always enjoy the retreat groups. They remind me of what it was like to be here at first with all their questions. They are great questions that I am thankful to be thinking about again.

I can't believe that it has only been 5 months and I have already learned so much and grown as a person. Just as important, I have figured out how to articulate many more questions than I ever thought were possible. I look forward to the next couple of months as life starts to feel even more natural.

Thanks for reading,
Erin

After traveling a bit after Christmas I returned to Duran on New Years Eve and prepared myself for the night ahead. We burned a muñeca in the street outside the house and were invited over to Jesus and Walter for a second dinner and some dancing. We lit sparklers with Brian, Andres and Dennis and had a fun time watching Brian try to ride a adult sized bike. He made it alright until he hit the turns, which is when he would fall over. But true to his character he never shed a tear and hopped right back on it to ride and fall again. At 2am we traveled to Andres´house in Arbolito and danced the night away to raggaeton, salsa and merengue. By 6 we were all in bed exhausted. True to Ecuador the heat started on Sunday and in the last coulple of days, we in AJS have been baking in the oven, aka the house. But being somewhat accustomed to the heat now it´s not too unbearable. By tomorrow we will have two retreat groups here and although it will be crazy it will be good practice for the months to come, as double groups are planned. I think we´re all excited and nervous to have so many gringos at one time, but it should be a fun experience. Now that gym classes are over and I have a few days free I am able to spend more time in the neighborhood and had a nice chat with Gabriel and Theresa this morning. They are prepared for the groups and Gabriel is really excited because he´s starting making key chains to sell to the groups as well. THey are all doing well and continually make jokes about how for them it is one year less because of their age, but one year more for us because of ours. School break comes soon and a lot of us are lost as to what we will be doing but with Manos possibly moving to mornings we are looking forward to being able to put a lot of energy into being able to teach at them once the school year has ended. That´s all for now but as you all know poco a poco is how things go here...

2006

Greetings from AJS 2006!

Things seem to be winding down after the whirlwind Christmas season. Between visitors, trips and Ano Viejos things flew by!!

The Valdivia Christmas Party was rockin´...We had some dancing, food, and my personal favorite the nacimiento, it was awesome...The kids did such a great job and it was heartwarming to see them all come together, working hard the week leading up to it and have a fantastic final product.

As most of you know, I´m sure, Diego´s abuelita passed away a couple of weeks ago. After a month in the hospital, they finally took her home to be with her family for her last few days. Watching Diego agonize over this has been the most heartbreaking thing. He seems to be doing alright, but we all know how much he must miss her...Please continue to keep him in your prayers, as this 13 year old tried to make sense of life and death...

On a lighter note, New Years was super fun! After Mass we hit the streets to see all the ano viejos being lit up! It was really neat. Then it was off to Jesus and Walter´s for a delicious meal. We played with the kids for a while, and I was moved by their willingness to share their sparklers with us, it´s nice to feel like a little kid again!

I have a group that comes tomorrow from Fairfield University, and Jason has one in Arbolito, so that should be interesting to have two groups at once! I am really looking foward to the honor of leading these university students on this journey, it should be an education for all of us!!

Well, that´s all the news that´s fit to print!! I hope this finds you all well!!

Blessings for this new year!

La Paz,
Emily