home sweet home

I must apologize for neglecting to blog, but thanks to a Erin, Em and Kerry, there are still updates! So as much as I try to stop talking about how little time we have left, and my house gives me a lotta crap about that (sorry Em!), I am reminded by many a neighbor or coworker that August is slowly approaching. And this really scares me, for many reasons. Like Emily was saying, this community does feel like home, AJS feels like home, Duran feels like home. Coming back from my brother's wedding, it was hard to leave my home in the United States, but not that difficult because it felt like I was coming back to another home, a community that welcomed me back with open arms.
But I am also scared because I feel like we are not done yet, that there is still so much to do, so much more to develop. At the risk of sounding corny, I really do love and care very deeply for our Duran friends, and especially our housemates. We struggle in trying to etch out what exactly an intentional Christian community is, and I think that is a good and neccessary thing. But the tension can get rather high and I pray that the inevitable difficulties in community can only make us stronger and that we can learn to understand each other better.
I am scared because it sometimes feels like I have been here for 10 months and really haven't done a significant thing, that I have taken more personally from my worksites and relationships here than I could ever possibly give. For instance, getting the opportunity to drive Shalom around Duran all Saturday night until 8 AM on Sunday and hear them serenade mothers for el Dia de la Madre. All I did was drive around and chat with Clarita and the guys while they sang their hearts out and brought tears to these mothers' eyes.
It scares me that on some days it seems like all I do is fail, that our presence here does more harm than good. And then there are days like today when I went to the soup kitchen at AJS, and was humbled that Fannie and the women dedicated a mystery of the rosary to the RdC volunteers, both past and present. That they were actually praying for us blew me away and made me think that maybe all of our efforts are not in vain. Godbless those women and their generosity.
So today I pray for unity in the RdC community, for understanding and mostly in thanksgiving for the incredible time that I have had here and the times to come. Godbless.

Jack Attack