Winter in Arbolito is hard. I dont think I quite realized how bad some parts of Arbolito are until the rains came. Some parts of my neighborhood are literally a swamp (all of Duran was in fact a swamp before people started to fill in land and settle here, so some areas apparently aren´t as far along as others!). After a night of heavy rain, the calle principal (main street) is literally a small river, with little tidal waves as brave cars or the bus try to make their way through. the other day, the old man i´ve written about, modesto, was trying to cross the street and fell in a hole, his head slipping under, and as i tried to pick him up, did my best to avoid the electric wire hanging down loose right above him. luckily, we were all able to laugh about it. it was a pretty hysterical sight, but i think demonstrates well the difficulty of the rainy season! it wouldn´t be too much of an exaggeration to say that the water that we walk through is, quite literally, shit - a mix of rainwater, garbage, waste from people´s bathrooms, and sometimes little fish. the other day, passing by the large puddle between our house and the tech school, i looked over to find a bloated dead dog floating. i can´t imagine this is good for anyone´s health . . .
The saddest part, however, is seeing the water in people´s yards or even in their houses. One woman told me that water had entered her house up to her waist! What is hard is that one person´s blessing can become another´s curse. When they can, people buy relleno, a kind of land, to fill in around their houses so they won´t flood. Seems like a good thing. But Rocio (women´s group president) was telling me that her friend got yelled at for being a bad neighbor, beause as she protected her house and raised her land, the rainwater inevitably flowed even more into her neighbor´s land. But what else could she do? At the same time, though, it´s amazing to see people helping each other, digging gutters outside other people´s houses to help them drain the water. People do seem to come together here in their hardship.
***
Current manifestations of ¨the reindeer effect¨(what my roommates and I have dubbed the series of difficulties and hilarities happening since Christmas)
1. I have lice. So do half of the volunteers. I´m surprised, honestly, that it took this long. The upside - Someone combs your hair for an hour! the downside - you have to do it for someone else. Conor has shaved his beard.
2. I had (and probably once again have) parasites.
3. Flying crickets, called grillos, have officially taken over their house. They told us the plague would last 2 days. After 2 months, I no longer believe them. The sight of their babies in my room confirms this suspicion.
4. The internet hasn´t worked in Arbolito for 2 months. For 2 weeks, they told us it would be fixed ¨tomorrow¨. Eventually, we stopped believing them.
5. Our new youse floods because the roof sucks. We were informed (too late) that you should never pay an architect until after the rainy season starts
6. I was briefly electrocuted at Mabel´s house
7. I am covered in mosquito bites. The largest cause is that our truck got stuck in the mud at 10 pm in the pouring rain by the river. When we got out to push, my flip flop broke. I then had to traipse in bare feet through the gunk to find help, and was consequently covered in bites. Walking home in my wet church clothes being carried on Conor´s back was certainly quite a sight. Flip flops always seem to break at the most inopportune moments. Recently, we´ve been joking around, ¨we CHOSE to live here???¨At least it makes for good stories.
But in all truth, it´s a blessing to be here. I´m happier than I´ve been in a while. Some recent impressionable moments -
-I came over to Mabel´s house to drop off a letter from a former volunteer. The day before had been her bday, and she began to cry, with a mix of deep joy and sadness. She was amazed that someone from so far, who in her words she should mean nothing to, had remembered her. But sadly, that was contrasted with her own spouse - who she sad didn´t want to give her anything and who wouldn´t let her girls give her anything - and her sisters, who didn´t remember. It helped me realize how forceful our presence can be here, and how simple acts like sending bday cards can be so impactful. Yet at the same time, it makes me think . . . what does it mean that we just enter into people´s lives for a year and leave, just a small blip of kindness? Once again, it reminds me of the freedom and choice that comes with privilege, and the imprisonment that poverty so often imposes. That our being here is a choice, and not just a fact of our lives, and that we can - and will - leave. I don´t know what I´ll do with my life (I´m actually on the job hunt right now. Please let me know if you´d like to hire me, or know anyone else who would) but I know that even though I will leave, I dont want to forget that my privilege is not something I deserve more than Mabel or anyone else.
****I never expected some of my happiest moments in Ecuador to be sitting and speaking English with a 28 year old New Yorker who decided to carry drugs in her stomach for a little extra cash, got sick and almost died, and is now stuck in an Ecuadorian jail. She is an amazing woman, and a constant reminder of the importance of not judging others, because this drug trafficking criminal has taught me how to be patient, self reflective, grateful and to rely on inner strength and God. Recently, she decided to move from her 2 person room to a 13 person room where she shares a bed with another great woman from\n\n Holland whose name is Charlotte but likes to be called Psycho (no idea why - she´s actually quite normal). They have decided to start working in the kitchen so as to keep themselves busy and out of the way of the stupid gosspi and fighting that permeates the culture of the jail. Visiting last week, 2 women began to fight and everyone else crowded around to watch. Fatimah instead walked into the church and right up to the altar (none of this sitting on the bench stuff in the back, she emphasized) and just gave all this stupid crap up to God, who she says is the only one she can really rely on here. I was amazed at our conversation the other day - she told us that she thinks God brought her here to realize how she had been a selfish brat back home, how she wanted to do this drug trip to get more cash, and how everyone is surprised because she was the good girl - actually graduated from high school, went to a beauty school, didnt get pregnant and was a manager at blockbuster. She thinks God brought her here to show herself her privilege, and she cares so much about working hard and helping others - and we would probably see her as another poor, lazy, black woman in NYC. Certainly not a spoiled brat. And now she´s stuck here in jail, and I´ve met her and love her. It´s a pretty beautiful, crazy thing.
***A happy baby story for once. ONe of my closest friends here, Jenny, just gave birth to a beautiful boy. <
***One of the latest Arbolito trends is that former gang members are turning into helpers at Semillas, our after school program, which makes me pretty happy. I was talking to Jefferson the other day because I wanted to talk to him about gangs, find out more about them here and how they function. Its hard to believe he´s only 17, already into and out of a ¨pandilla¨. He was excited to talk to me, and I was amazed at the honesty he shared with me, though he was kind of shy, not really looking me in the eye. What hit me hardest though, was what he said to me at the end of our talk. He told me that before I expressed interest in talking to him, when he first started at Semillas, he thought I didn´t like him - that I was angry with him and that he was intimidated by me. It made me really sad to hear, that I would give anyone that impression, let alone someone who clearly needed to feel love and acceptance. I guess I can see how it happened, with me often playing the role of disciplinarian. While I am so glad to know Jefferson now knows that I like him, his comment really convicted me to reach out more to those who seem more ¨bad¨ than good, to let them know that I believe in them instead of giving them the impression that I´m above them. If I say I believe in the dignity of every person, I better show it.
***¨We also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance, and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been gibbevn to us.¨ Romans 5:3-6\nThis passage has been haunting me since I arrived here, and I think there´s a reason. This year has certainly been one of tribulation, which initally drove me crazy. But eventually I realized I came here because I wanted a challenge, and here it was staring me in the face. So much of this year has been an exercise in disappointment - in myself, in others - but I think I am realizing that tribulations can in fact be transformative, and somehow arrive at hope. I think I´m somewhere in the middle of this passage, certainly at perseverance. While I have been broken, realizing that I am not perfect, that I´m not in control of so much of my life, that a group of obnoxious 5th graders can exercise more power over me than I them, I am hoping in part that it´s my pride that´s been broken, to be replaced by humility and patience. It´s so hard to feel like a failure, but maybe the lesson to learn is that I won´t always be successful and that others can give to me and teach me. Maybe that´s where the hope comes in . . . through failure and frustrated efforts, being forced to just ¨be¨ with people instead of changing them, to experience living in this culture of poverty and appreciating it instead of fixing it, I can still try to give love and receive it. Certainly I fail at that every day too. But hopefully all these tribulations will help me to build this proven character and to love better, and that is something that I can exult in in the end.\n",1]
God bless you all!
Kerry
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