Reflection on Love and this week´s Gospel

My housemate Mara, in moments of stress, when anger or frustration could get the better of her, sings one word over and over to bring her back: "Love, love, love!" Be it the sweltering heat, parasites, relentless noise, frustrations with Spanish, or the inevitable difficulties that result when you put 11 very different people together in Duran, Ecuador for one year, her song reminds me of how I should be living, and the reason that I am here. It always seems a bit cliché and cheesy to say that love is the answer to all. As if we haven't heard before that love is the cure for the world's ills, is a release from our inherent selfishness, and is the key for living in true life-giving relationships. Since I was a tiny, pigtailed, overall wearing girl, the tall order of loving God with all my heart, soul, and mind fell on dull ears as I would think "yeah, yeah, yeah, I didn't punch my brother today, I loved… check!" But now more than ever, I'm seeing not only the simplicity of this message but also the immense, fully unattainable call we have as humans to heed the Gospel today- to love with all our heart, with all our soul, with all our mind, and with all our strength. As I begin my fourth month here in Duran, I am increasingly aware of the enormous difficulties and profound freedom that come with this call. It is at once my greatest source of life and my greatest frustration.

In Oscar Romero's The Violence of Love, this extreme challenge and call to love as our one responsibility on Earth is the thread that holds each of his words together. Indeed, the love Romero calls for is violent. It is one "which left Christ nailed to a cross, the violence that we must each do to ourselves to overcome our selfishness and such cruel inequalities among us. The violence we preach is the violence of love, of brotherhood, the violence that wills to beat weapons into sickles for work." Thus, loving with all of our being must involve a recognition that we willingly or unwillingly participate in the oppression and destruction that occurs all over the world and therefore calls for a conversion of each of our hearts. This conversion will then lead to engagement and action within the world against injustice. Romero stresses that we cannot separate this call to love, found in today's Scripture, from the historical reality that it is revealed in: war, abuse, hatred, corruption, and greed, all present a harsh environment from which we must love.

And I haven't figured out how to do that yet, how to fully engage in this liberation process; and I wonder if I ever will. So I start by looking for the little things; recognizing that God is the Love that we find and live every day, pure agape. Using the words "God" and "Love" interchangeably has provided a richer dimension to my faith, a much needed renewal of my personal prayer life, and a clearer way of seeing the Kingdom all around me. When I sit for an hour with Mercedes, a blind Hansen's Disease patient, and try to grasp onto any word she speaks so that I can understand and respond in broken Spanish, I get frustrated but find myself eventually just sitting in simple silence holding her hand and I feel love. I feel God. When I return from work and walk down the dirt road to my house and meet Freddy who runs outside to ask me how my day was because I looked tired when I went off that morning, I see it. When I pass by a father sitting outside of his cane home picking lice out of his daughter's hair, its clear. When I have a conversation on the bus with my friend Jefferson as we drive across the river, away from the shacks and plethora of dogs in Duran to the skyscrapers and McMansions of the Puntilla and parts of Guayaquil, I know that the presence is there. And when I'm with my 4 housemates, cleaning the floors of our forever dusty house, reminiscing about college, and laughing together, I see God in my midst. God/Love is in all conversation and community but it is only through a certain lens that we can see it. And though many times I am oblivious or closed off to the recognition of the hallowed ground which I walk on every day, those moments that rock me and prove to me the existence of Love are what drive me to continue to live with meaning.

There are no limits to God's love, so who are we to put limits on ours? At the end of this week's Gospel, an enthusiastic scribe expresses his agreement with Jesus that loving with all one's heart and loving one's neighbor as oneself is worth more than any ritual or burnt offering. Jesus responds, "You are not far from the kingdom of God." Indeed, the Kingdom of God is here on earth and when we break free from our egos, our judgments, and our personal attachments, it's as clear and tangible as the burning hot Ecuadorian sun. Our call this week certainly is a tough one; but it is the only one we have. As I continue searching and learning from the people of South America , I pray that I can better sharpen my lens of love so that all that is blurry with my limited view can be better magnified through God.

La Paz,
Alison