hace tiempo....

wow...so as i came into this year, i thought i would be writing blogs all the time, i love writing and sharing, so it just made sense....but alas, we have been here now for about 6 months, and this is my second one....why? well, i could obviously say lack of time, limited computer access, inability to speak either language: english or spanish, etc. But i think the other very important factor is that things such as this (trying to express oneself, especially through writing) cannot be forced. So many times i feel myself experiencing emotions at levels which i had never known before....
There are so many times here when I don´t even know what´s going on inside of me, let alone try to explain it to anyone else....how, for example, can you best explain those times when you feel beyond weak (in every aspect, physically, emotionally, etc.) and yet at the very same time, you feel stronger than you ever knew possible....and yet it`s a different kind of strength...a strength which can only be reached/acquired by allowing yourself to get to that point of weakness and vulnerability. It´s as if the crucifixion and all the pain that comes with it, is happening at the exact same moment of the resurrection and all the wonder, awe, gratitude, and joy that comes with that.....and yet with these coexisting extremes occuring inside a single person, a single heart....(for this is something that can obviously occur in each and every individual)....it, often times, is just too much...our hearts were not made big enough to contain such stong and powerful emotions....but as one of my best friends reminded me most recently:
For this, we are broken, and must be broken....for it is only then, that our hearts will be mended and made anew, made bigger than before by the hands of our Creator...and thus will be able to contain even more of His love. Just like the parable in the Gospel in which Jesus talks about having to get new wineskins to hold the wine he brings, because the other ones will stretch and burst. You can't put new wine in old wineskins because they will ultimately buckle and break...His love being the wine. We need a new heart, a new barrel, which to hold his love that he wants to give to us. The process of making room for the new and bigger wineskin no doubt tears at us....
Bueno, that´s all from me, for now. I hope that was able to make at least a little sense :)
God bless you all. And, as always, thanks so much for your support! We appreciate your thoughts, prayers, letters, emails, todo...more than we can say!!
¡Cuidense!
paz, amor, y alegría,
Mara :)

Feliz Año Nuevo!

Since I've last written, I've shared much with my neighbors and fellow volunteers - Jesus' birthday, a 4th of July Christmas Eve dinner, an Italian Christmas day dinner, New Year's Eve craziness, electricity problems and therefore a candlelit dinner with Raul, a death, and the last week of classes at Mundo before vacation.

Christmas Eve was an experience. That morning we went with the Shalom group and others to 28 de Agosto and the surrounding areas to deliver food, clothes, and toys. One of the Ecuadorians said that they "were going to give things to the poor" (the poor serve the poorer - it's all a matter of perspective). The day included 20 people piled in a pickup truck, a flat tire, and an unforgettable time of distributing the supplies.

Long story very short, we ended up having a wonderful 4th of July dinner of chili dogs, chips, and salad on Christmas Eve with Kevin's family. Then we went to the Arbolito mass - now THAT was a celebration! I think my favorite part was singing Apurate mi Burrito. It's not that I didn't miss my family, but it's just that I had so much to be thankful for. What a great group of newfound friends and neighbors, what great company, what a celebration.

Christmas morning Kevin, Kevin's mom and I made a pancake breakfast. We volunteers exchanged affirmation letters (our Christmas presents to each other, as we're falta dinero). Then we ate our fill of Annie´s wonderful Italian Christmas dinner. The holidays were filled with nothing but reminders of all that I have to be thankful for.

The next fun, new experience for me - los grios! We imagine it to be like the plague of locusts in Biblical times. At first I didn´t know what to do as we gathered at the Comunidad de Base meeting held outside a few weeks ago, but by the end of the night I was already more accustomed to the grios. I was even picking them out of Mara's hair without much problem - we had each other's backs. The Ecuadorians taught us how to grab them in our hands and slam them down on the ground. Solidarity to the max ;)

Last Friday as I led morning prayer, I read the verse from Romans 12 - Rejoice when others rejoice, and weep when others weep. That was the day I found out that Nila's (the nurse at the dispensario) son had died in a motorcycle accident. It seems to me like that verse from Romans is central to life. It also reminds me of the quote, "Shared joy is double joy, while shared sorrow is half sorrow."

And still, life goes on in Ecuador. I just finished reading the book my brother gave me for Christmas, Gilead. It's about an old preacher nearing death, and he's writing these memories to his son because he won't be there as his son grows up. He has a lot to say about this world and about existence - mostly that he loves it. He writes to his son, "It's your existence I love you for, mainly. Existence seems to me now the most remarkable thing that could ever be imagined." Yesterday I sat on my neighbor Martha´s bed and listened to her practice a speech she had to give in English, offering her a reassuring "Si, si," after every few words, and stared out the window up to the blue, cloud-filled sky above the streets of Ecuador. Sometimes I´m reminded that life is beautiful. Life is a gift.

Que Dios te bendiga.
Jenny

Up with the Christmas Decorations, Up with the Temperature

So.... Can it be that Thanksgiving is passed and Christmas is on its way? It must be the case as we lit the first Advent candle at mass on Sunday, but I think maybe it´s all one big trick, because the weather´s only getting hotter, and my little mind doesn´t understand. On Thursday I helped hang up Christmas decorations at the dispensario, which actually did increase my excitement for the coming of Christmas. Now we just need to have a snowflake making party at our house and start decorating our casa.

Now that we´re beginning to tackle our 5th month in Ecuador, I´ve got my routine and my work and my neighbors and my housemates and, well, life in Ecuador, and I´m living it. And now that we´re into it a bit, I´m accustomed to a lot of things that used to seem like such chores. I´m learning more Spanish, though there are still daily language frustrations. With an increase in understanding of Spanish comes a deeper understanding of who my neighbors are and how they live. Their situations are becoming a little more real to me, and I´m giving more and more of my heart to this place and these people. Our neighbor Wellington told the retreat group a few days ago that he loves everything about Ecuador. The only thing he doesn´t like is having to say goodbye to the volunteers every year. It´s tough knowing that as soon as we build these relationships we´ll be leaving, but there´s a reason for it.

Ok, so here it is, what I´m learning in Ecuador:
-how to fend for myself -how to think about how my decisions will affect others with every little choice I make -often failing to be selfless but still learning to remind myself to be -Spanish -some cooking skills -what it feels like to be winged by a live turkey on the bus -the joy of warm bread in the morning -to be thankful for a shower whether it´s long and hot or short and cold -that there´s no such thing as a quick run to the corner store -the quirks of my housemates -that "dame-ing la mano" (the sign of peace) at Comunidad de Base really makes me happy -the absurdity of life sometimes -patience (again and again and again) -how to push myself and give more than I thought I could -how to think of the other first even if, again, I often fail to do so -the joy of relationships and conversations -what´s really important and what´s not -that hearing little Rosita try to pronounce "Jennifer" brings me joy -How funny occassional hilarious miscommunications as we gringos try to communicate can be (I just want to order a pizza!) -that kids charging me with open arms and huge smiles ALWAYS makes me smile too, no matter how I was feeling before that moment -that I really like using the word chuzo -that my neighbor Walter knows some darn funny riddles -that I need to remind myself over and over that it´s all a journey, it´s all poco a poco.

There are many reasons to be joyful and thankful and many reasons to celebrate. There are also plenty of things to be sad about and angry about. But we´ve got one common hope, and there´s reason to continue. Siga no mas.
Jenny

For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF."Gal 5:13-14